I may be more than slightly neurotic.

To me, typos in books and other professionally printed pieces are like a steering wheel on a hermaphroditic *pixie* pirate's crotch.

It drives me nuts.

Who knew I was such a sucker for tradition?

Every year on December 25th I would wake up at the crack of dawn to spend Christmas morning with my Mom and the rest of the immediate family on that side (my Gam, my Dad before the divorce, my Stepdad after the divorce, my brother, JQ for the last 8 years, and now G-tot). It has always played out the same way. Christmas Eve we would celebrate with the extended family on my Mom's side and then Christmas morning at my Mom's.

Even when I moved out on my own I would wake up really early and be at my Mom's before 8 a.m. Gifts and breakfast casserole in tow, it didn't matter that I only got a few hours of restless sleep the night before. It was tradition and I loved it.

This year would be different. My Mom lives out of state now and I get the honor of hosting Christmas morning from here on out. You have no idea how much this excites me. It would still be an early morning and I would still make that breakfast casserole, I just wouldn't have to drive in the chilly December morning over to her house. That alone is enough to make a girl giddy.

Instead of being overjoyed with the fact that in just 2 days I would be hosting my very first Christmas morning with my Mom and family, I'm sitting here crying. Because she won't be here. And it kills me a little inside.

Sure, sure, weather permitting they'll be coming in on Christmas but it won't be until the afternoon. It's just not the same. Wow, that sounds so selfish doesn't it? Poor *pixie*, can't see her Mom until 5 hours after she expected to. Wah, wah, wah… But you know what? I don't give a rat's ass if it's selfish. Or ridiculous. It's real. It's the way I really feel right now and I haven't quite gotten over it because I just found out. Up until a half an hour ago I expected everything to play out the way I mentioned in that third paragraph up there.

It isn't going to happen that way. Car trouble prevented them from leaving yesterday as planned. Today and tomorrow they are expecting lots and lots of snow. I'd rather have them arrive late then have them not arrive at all, but what I'd really like is for tradition to stand. Stupid traditions…

Sometimes I work with my head up my ass

Umm…on every one of my syllabi this quarter I put down the wrong office hours. I somehow managed to write 5:00–5:30 instead of 3:15–3:45. Which aren't even close to one another. Where did I get that first time frame from? I have no idea. I also wrote on one of my syllabi that the class meets twice a week. Which it doesn't. And I didn't realize this until this morning when I was checking the posted meet times for the room I teach the class in. If I hadn't looked at that I probably would have been sitting in the classroom wondering why everybody ditched today.

I'm so pretty.*

*This is one of our favorite sayings when we do something stupid. "You're so pretty." Most effective if accompanied by petting your hair.

at least we're on the same wavelength

An actual interaction that took place on Saturday while playing Catch Phrase* with some friends.

JQ: "Okay. He was a famous hockey player from Detroit."

*Pixie*: (*without hesitation*) "Wayne Gretzky"

JQ: "Right." (*passes the game to the next player*)

Our friend Phil: "That's hilarious. I'll tell you why as soon as this round is over."**


*Catch Phrase is a quick paced game where you have to get your partner to guess the word in front of you without actually saying it. Super fun and nothing like Taboo or Charades.

**Apparently Wayne Gretzky never played for Detroit (nor was he from there). But we got the clue right—so who cares about specifics.

more evidence that I may have a hoarding problem

I'm cleaning my home office up right now and I came across a notepad on the desk. As I tore out the pages to be recycled one caught my eye. It contains a list of the different environments from The Urbz game. A game I haven't played in a long time.


Along with some miscellaneous doodles, the paper also has a handful of addresses and MLS numbers from our house hunting days. Now, we've lived in our current home since December of 2005. Which means that piece of paper is at least 3 years old. Why am I holding onto this type of shit?

I'm no Alice Nelson*

Alternately titled: As long as you eat it over the trash.

I hate to clean. I do it, but only because it has to be done. The dishes, the laundry, the floors, the bathroom…it never ends. And by no means am I the only one around here who cleans the house. As a matter of fact, one might argue that JQ does the majority of it. That one would be JQ but still, it's a fair arguement. But oh man, if I'm the one doing the cleaning? Watch out. The minute the rags and cleaners get put away I'll be on you about NOT MESSING IT UP. OMG!! I JUST CLEANED THAT! ACKK! DON'T BREATHE ON IT THAT WAY!

What I'm saying is…I may be a little dramatic and obsessive about freshly cleaned surfaces.

Maybe what I really need are some good tools and great tips for expediting my housekeeping. What do you use to keep the snap in your sheets and the sparkle in your windows. Do you have an old family secret for making hardwood floors shine?

Come on, we're all friends. I'd even invite you over for a cocktail or two. Just make sure you drink it over the sink.


*You do know who Alice Nelson is, don't you?

some people call them shot glasses...

...I like to call them vases.


The trick is turning the glass so you can't see the Jack Daniels & Jagermeister logos.

that will be $1,194.75 + tax

8, 184
That's the number of items in our iPhoto library at this moment. I take that back. That is actually the number of photos & video in our iPhoto library that have been shot since August 12, 2006. Ones that have been shot with my current point-and-shoot digital in the last 647 days. There is another 171 images in the library that were shot earlier and imported.

7,965 photos shot over the last 647 days. That is almost 380 pictures a month. Just over twelve pictures a day. I know people who barely shoot twelve pictures a year.

Assuming that I would pay 15¢ a print for your standard 4x6, it would cost us $1,194.75 to print them all. Plus tax of course. That number just continues to grow. I can't stop shooting.

it didn't make me vomit

Remember these?

My student had a bag and I just tried one.

It wasn't nearly as disgusting as I expected it to be. It tasted like a crunchy pack of ketchup. One was enough.

That is all.

what's your number?

When the temperature starts to dip here in Northwest Ohio, the thermostats inevitably rise. Before Gideon was born JQ and I were of the mindset that you put on an extra pair of socks or a sweater and keep the furnace down as much as possible. At night we would turn it down to 65° or lower in the dead of winter. Our bedspread is warm and we could snuggle up. Sleepy in our skivvies was still comfortable. Getting out of bed in the morning was another story. How quick could we find socks and sweats before we froze our little white asses off? Pretty quick.

Now that Gideon is around we've had to adjust our thinking on the low temps. We aren't outrageous with it—but when you have a little guy who doesn't understand how to pull the covers back over him, you got to give a little. Our thermostat goes down to about 68° at night in the winter and never rises above 72°. We usually keep it at 70° through most of the winter.

SInce we have a furnace that is a whopping 60% efficient, we are heat misers. Or maybe we aren't? If you live in climate with 4 seasons—what's your number? If you live in the warmer states, what do you consider cold? Is there a point where you actually turn on the heat?

it's a pocket protector

Shit. I'm running out of time and steam for today's post. I've got nothing. Well, that's not true. I've got a text document with a bunch of ideas waiting to be written about. Today is not the day to pull from that. I don't have the energy to write a meaningful post. Those ideas require time and thought. And time. Did I mention that already?

So anyway, today's post. How about a picture from my iPhoto library? Good? Okay then.

Any questions?

random photo Friday

Sidenote: Man, I am a grammar nazi. I had the title as "random foto friday" and I could not—once again—in good judgment keep it like that.

I thought for fun I would pull a random photo from a box in the house and post it along with a factoid about it. I grabbed the box, closed my eyes, reached in and pulled out this gem.


This could not be a more perfect picture. It cracks me up and is so obscure you would think I picked it intentionally. It's a picture of JQ from November of 2000 (the back of the photo was dated—go me!). We had these small post-it notes and JQ thought it would be funny to draw eyes on two of them, punch holes for the pupils (so he could still see), and...well you see the picture. I don't have to explain it like I'm talking to a group of monkeys. It's taken a our first place together and we had just moved in a month prior. It looks like there is a backdrop hanging behind JQ. That means it would have been shot the same day as the shot I did of JQ and his siblings for a gift to his parents. Seven years ago. I wonder if we have any of those post-its around...OMG we do!

major evidence of my ocd at the end of this post

I realized the other day that I need to take a page out of Gideon's diet if I want to lose weight. If I ate the same type of things I feed him those last few pounds I'm hanging on to would come right off. Crazy? I disagree. Think about it.

Milk. Fruits. Vegetables. Barley, rice, and oatmeal cereals. A small serving of juice once a day. An occasional dessert style baby food. Nutritious. Preservative free. Most of them free of extras sugars. How could you not lose weight? It's essentially a pureed version of the Core plan on Weight Watchers.

I was down .2 again this week. That's the sad little number I'm repeatedly eeking out. It's a result of not really concerning myself with what I'm eating. Making a half-ass effort to eat more nutritiously and less processed and convenient. I love whole foods. I love to cook. There is no reason I should be treating my body to less than the best. It's just seems easier to sometimes reach for the garbage. Only 7 weeks until the end of the year and my goal was to have those last few pounds off. I better give this baby food thing a try.

Move over Gideon, Momma wants to share those pears with you.

Yes I am that anal.
Not only are they arranged by food types (3 rows of fruits, 3 rows of vegetables, 1 row of desserts), but they are also arranged by color. Sometimes I frighten myself. In my defense it makes it really easy to see what we have and what we need. Plus, I can make sure Gideon is eating a colorful diet and getting a variety of choices.

smoke and a pancake

Miss Zoot has been leaving daily prompts at her NaBloPoMo page. Yesterday her prompt struck a chord with me. Zoot wrote:

How do you feel about breakfast? It seems more and more adults are skipping breakfast for copious amounts of caffeine. Are you one of them? Do you eat healthy breakfasts or good ones? (Not that they're necessarily mutually exclusive. I guess. What are you favorite breakfast foods? Do you eat breakfast foods at other times of the day? In the South we have a lot of little country places that makes fantastic breakfasts. Do you have any Mom-and-Pop type places that serve the same?

Breakfast is an issue that I really struggle with. I know it is incredibly important to eat breakfast, but I don't as often as I should. There are two main reasons for this.

1. My non-morning side hates to get up and therefore most mornings I only leave enough time to shower, feed Gideon, & get all of our stuff together before we leave.
2. I'm not hungry right away.

On days that I work in the morning I am usually heading out the door with a stainless steel travel mug full of black coffee (or a soy latte if we have the milk) & a piece of string cheese. When I was diligent about eating breakfasts I would have Cheerios & milk or 2 plain blueberry waffles. I would consider those both good and "healthy". On weekends JQ & I occasionally make a big fat laden breakfast together: bacon, eggs, pancakes, coffee, and juice.
Mmm...bacon. I just bought some A1 the other day to have with bacon next time we make it. That is a tasty combination.
I like scrambled eggs and omelettes but my favorite type of breakfast eggs has to be over easy. I like a cooked white with a nice runny yolk to dip my toast in. I have an odd habit of eating all the white part leaving the yolk perfectly in tact until the end. I'll even try to take the top layer of the yolk portion off to leave an open orb of runny yolk.
I like pancakes and waffles but I don't like syrup. At.All. When I have pancakes I top them with a pat of butter and a bit of cinnamon and sugar.
If we are having breakfast at a diner I put hot sauce on my eggs. I also enjoy sausage gravy and biscuits but rarely have it. I make a great version of it, we just don't usually have all the ingredients on hand. Plus it's really unhealthy. What I would like to know is what are some quick, healthy, portable breakfasts to have in the morning?

shut it

I can't sleep with the bedroom closet door open. It drives me nuts. Come to think of it, I don't really like having that door open except when we are accessing it's contents. It's an accordion style door that vees (v's?) out towards you when you open it. Even if the door isn't actually open, but rather pulled a bit so it vees out, it bothers me. I find it oddly creepy.

I know it's one of those completely irrational behaviors, but it's there. You?

rub down

I received a gift certificate to a spa from Gideon and Josh for Mother's Day and I plan on getting a massage with it very soon. I've only had one other professional massage in my life and that was the day before Josh and I got married—almost five years ago. I'm excited to get it done, but I'm at a loss as how to answer what I imagine will be an inevitable question on the part of the spa, "Would you like a male or female masseuse?".

Which would you prefer? Why?

Oh, and it's not a happy ending spa.

private puss

A couple weeks ago, Mr. Fab (who will be the "I/me" in the questions below) sent out an offer to interview any bloggers that were interested. He apparently received a lot of response because he came up with a group of questions that all interested parties could answer. They've been sitting in my inbox for about a week and I'm finally ready to take a crack at them. If you're interested in let me know and work up a few questions.

1. If I was your next door neighbor, what would I most likely say that I like best about living next door to you, and what would I say I dislike most about living next door to you?

The best thing about living next to me would be the food. I'm a kick-ass cook with a nice modest vegetable garden and herb garden.
The worst? Our house needs painted. Or maybe the fact that our bathroom window is close to your driveway.

2. If you had to pick one song to define you, what would it be? If you had to pick one song to define me, what would it be?
This is really hard. I'm going to pick two, but I'm sure those would change if I kept thinking about it.
Me: Kodachrome by Paul Simon or It's Good to be King by Tom Petty
You: The Entertainer by Billy Joel or Freakin' at the Freakers' Ball by Dr. Hook (and I mean that in the nicest possible way).

3. In a movie about the Blogsophere, who would play you and who would play me? Feel free to make any other casting decisions you want to.
I would be played by Kate Hudson.
You would be played by Mel Brooks (circa 1974).

4. Do think science will one day be able to biogenetically engineer a flying cat, and if so, do you think it will be mostly a pet for the home, or will there be military applications for such an animal? How much would you be willing to pay for a flying cat?
It would definitely be used for military purposes. It would wear a kaiser helmet and little goggles that have a UV protective coating on the lenses. It would look something like this:

How can you put a price on that kind of cuteness?

5. Have you ever met any bloggers? Which three bloggers would you most like to meet?

I have not met any other bloggers. There are lots that I'd like to meet and if I had to choose three they would be:
Mr. Fab—with a sense of humor like that I know we would get along.
Christina—we could talk all about our babies (as soon as she pops little Chase out).
Dutchy—she's a foreigner. Enough said.

re-redundant

I really dislike the use of the word irregardless. Without regard. Regardless. Why the addition of the "ir"? Stop the madness people.

---

The family that blogs together...procrastinates together. Go check out what my other half has to say at his new spot on the web. Leave him a comment and let him know you've stopped by.

things I never thought I'd say

Actual conversation I had today:

Josh: Hello?
Me: (excitedly) We had poops!
J: What?
M: (still excitedly) Poops! Gideon pooped.
J: (happily) Good!
J: (quizically) Was it a big one?

There is more, but I'll spare you the details of the actual diaper. Looks like peas make the baby a bit constipated. That's the first one since Friday morning.

garden specimens—cockcumber

From our garden.
Any thoughts?
Questions?
Quips?