Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Who knew I was such a sucker for tradition?

Every year on December 25th I would wake up at the crack of dawn to spend Christmas morning with my Mom and the rest of the immediate family on that side (my Gam, my Dad before the divorce, my Stepdad after the divorce, my brother, JQ for the last 8 years, and now G-tot). It has always played out the same way. Christmas Eve we would celebrate with the extended family on my Mom's side and then Christmas morning at my Mom's.

Even when I moved out on my own I would wake up really early and be at my Mom's before 8 a.m. Gifts and breakfast casserole in tow, it didn't matter that I only got a few hours of restless sleep the night before. It was tradition and I loved it.

This year would be different. My Mom lives out of state now and I get the honor of hosting Christmas morning from here on out. You have no idea how much this excites me. It would still be an early morning and I would still make that breakfast casserole, I just wouldn't have to drive in the chilly December morning over to her house. That alone is enough to make a girl giddy.

Instead of being overjoyed with the fact that in just 2 days I would be hosting my very first Christmas morning with my Mom and family, I'm sitting here crying. Because she won't be here. And it kills me a little inside.

Sure, sure, weather permitting they'll be coming in on Christmas but it won't be until the afternoon. It's just not the same. Wow, that sounds so selfish doesn't it? Poor *pixie*, can't see her Mom until 5 hours after she expected to. Wah, wah, wah… But you know what? I don't give a rat's ass if it's selfish. Or ridiculous. It's real. It's the way I really feel right now and I haven't quite gotten over it because I just found out. Up until a half an hour ago I expected everything to play out the way I mentioned in that third paragraph up there.

It isn't going to happen that way. Car trouble prevented them from leaving yesterday as planned. Today and tomorrow they are expecting lots and lots of snow. I'd rather have them arrive late then have them not arrive at all, but what I'd really like is for tradition to stand. Stupid traditions…

12 comments:

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Mom—Don't let this post make you feel worse than you already do. The blog is a place to let it all out. That's all I'm doing. I love you. :)

Christina said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. We've always spent Christmas in Philadelphia, even before I lived here. We would drive across the state early Christmas morning, and even though that kind of sucked, it was all part of the tradition. When I moved here after college, my parents continued that tradition, and drove out here and we all did Christmas together. Even after they moved to Georgia, they made it a point to drive here so they could spend Christmas day with us. But this year my Dad has to work on Christmas (such is the life of a chef, which sucks for the rest of us) so they won't be here until the 26th and it makes me cry when I think about it. Hopefully next year things will be back to normal for you and you can all be together, but I'm sorry it's not working out this year!! :(

Cruel Shoes said...

Oh, Pixie-- don't cry! It's OK! But I did want to say that you have every right to feel this way right now, so don't be embarassed or feel guilty for it! Family has a way of bringing out the good and sad emotions at the holidays... it happens to all of us. I always miss my Dad every year since I haven't had a Christmas with him since 1995. I'm used to it, mostly, but it still stings. It probably always will. But it's OK, at least it shows me I'm not an unemotional ogre of a girl or something, right? Eh, whatever. Point is, I love ya and I want you to enjoy your Christmas one way or another... take care of yourself, go easy on yourself(!) and definitely give your Mom an extra-long hug when you do see her. :)

Cindy said...

I love you too and I feel the same way you do. I have shed some tears over this and hopefully we will see you guys on Christmas or sooner weather permitting.

Steelers Wine Girl said...

I completely understand - Christmas is all about the traditions, period. At least you know that the longer wait will make you even happier to see her when she arrives :)

Shades said...

Change is never fun, and it's things like this that make change a little sad, as well. You have a plan, though, and I know you guys will make the most of whatever it becomes and at least change doesn't affect how MUCH you will still ENJOY each others' company!

Vegas Princess said...

Oh pixie, don't cry. This sucks, I know, but it wil all work out. Maybe it won't snow and they can get to you on time? I will be corssing my finegrs that Mother Nature behaves this once. Traditions are so important and even more so around the holdiays. They make us feel loved and safe and comfortable. So it is okay you are upset, but it will all work out. I always miss my parents a bit more around this time too. :) Sending you warm Christmas hugs from across the miles. And an extra one for your mom too because I am sure she feels just as upset as you do.

QC said...

Oh no! That's awful news! And I would feel exactly the same way. Boo! As it stands, I am waiting on my own Christmas visitor's arrival. And judging by the news reports, it's not going to be an easy one either. So, I decided to do what I do best... ignore them. No more TV news for me! :P

And don't fret. While you may need to let go of tradition for one year, things seem to have a way of always working out, you know? Hang in there.

Naynayfazz said...

Pixie- I am sorry you are so sad. I am sure you will have a great holiday regardless of this crappy situation. Once you see your family altogether, it'll be worth it. I know this doesn't help but I am trying! :( Cheer up my friend!

kapgar said...

Hey Pixie, sorry things aren't working out. I think it's a pretty universal theme right now. I was sick this past weekend and we missed one of my wife's family Christmas parties. She's sick now, so we'll miss the rest of them on Christmas Eve and Day. It's a helluva year.

Kym said...

I'm sorry your Christmas morning won't be the same as it has always been, and you do have every right to be upset and mad at mother nature, and let out your feelings and emotion. We're hoping they can push through the weather and get here in time for breakfast with you all :-) Enjoy this Christmas with G-tot!

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Christina—So it's really our parents fault for keeping up traditions for so long?

Cruel Shoes—An "unemotional ogre of a girl"? Never.

Cindy Mom—It was a Christmas Miracle to have you here on Christmas morning! I loved every minute of it.

SWG—We were ALL happy to be together.

Shades—We are lucky that way, we actually enjoy each others' company.

VP—She made it in for Christmas morning! Yay!!

QC—Mother Nature can be such a fickle bitch, can't she?

Naynay—Actually, it did help. Thanks buddy. :)

Kapgar—It did seem to be a theme around the blogsphere. Lots of bloggers I read had some sort of snafu in their plans this year.

Kym—Christmas morning worked out as planned. It was fantastic.