Friday, June 16, 2006

what's the skinny?

I've never really been a skinny girl. Now, I'm not fat, but I'm by no means a stick figure. That's fine. I don't want to be über-skinny, I like having curves—but why is it that I continually sabatoge myself in my weight-loss efforts?

I'm perpetually 10–15 pounds from my WW goal weight—a weight that I've been at in the not so distant past. A weight that I'm not sure I'll ever see again. It's like my body wants me to be at this weight. Forever. I love to eat. Food is one of my favorite things. I like to cook it, smell it, savor it. Cheese is one of my favorite things. As are regular margaritas (on the rocks with salt). Not exactly the friendliest fare when you are trying to live a "healthy lifestyle". Going out for mexican food the night before weighing in is self-sabotage. I know it is, but for some reason, I continue to do it. It's a viscious cycle. I don't sit around with a tub of icecream and a box of cookies, I love fruit and veggies and lean proteins—somehow that isn't manifesting any losses on the scale.

Exercise you say? What's that? Not into it. Wish I was. Used to be. Ehhh...motivation. Gone.

Josh was with me at my heaviest and has known me through all sorts of weight—that's what knowing each other for 14+ years will do for you. He loves me regardless of my size. And really, I love myself at this size. So why care? Most likely because I'm forking over money each week to Weight Watchers until I hit that magic number again. And since I've been there and "free" from paying, it really bites my ass that I'm not still there. Here's a picture of me from this morning. Just moments ago. What do you think? Be kind I just let my hair air dry and I don't have any make-up on. It's me at my purest.

26 comments:

Leezer said...

Oh Pixie! You're perfect just the way you are!!! Don't give up life's pleasures.

I was the skinny girl, until I had a baby. Now the weight is a constant issue. I don't think anyone knows I struggle with this because I work my ass off to stay the same size, but it's so damn hard! And I love love love my red wine!

Thanks for the post.

Lynda said...

I think you look great. If you really are happy at your weight, talk to your doctor about writing a note for Weight Watchers, and then you can get the maintanence information.

Lynda said...

Oh, and I am with you on the E word. Even did a post about it a while back, but I am too lazy to look it up right now.

Chuck said...

You do look great! The perfect size in all respects.

Jen said...

I really think you're well-balanced and proportioned.

I don't see anything that could be described as "heavy", "pudgy" or "chunky".

You're not round all over.
You're not "apple-shaped" which would be a health risk if one were.

You still have a waist- your hips don't merge into your chest.
Legs are good, too!

If you ever rediscover your excitement for that workout space in your basement it wouldn't take long to see a few minor results that would make you feel better about yourself. I say, whatever you do, at least do something to maintain yourself the way you are now. You definitely don't want to lose the proportioned look you have going on by starting the gain progression.

Am I making sense? I hope I'm not offending. I'm not trying to. I don't see anything bad.

queen of pink said...

I think you look fantastic. Having fought weight my entire life, I know the feeling. Although, I'm not 10 lbs from my goal (more than that). I really wish I was closer, but then again, will I ever be happy? Interesting thought.

Anyway, I think you look great. You are so cute & have a cute figure. Screw the 10 lbs.

Think Frustrated said...

Margaritas on the rocks! Most women like the foo-foo blended version of the margarita. I, too, like just the original lime-flavored margarita, on the rocks. Too good.

I think you look good. People are too obsessed with "the perfect figure." Honestly, if you lost the 10 pounds, you would think you needed to lose 5 more. Then a few more. Then one more. It would be neverending. I say just maintain.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! You've all really made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm not trying to have a pity party, sometimes you just need to voice how you feel and it's nice to get such positive feedback. I'm by no means going to starve myself or anything harmful like that. I'd rather look like this forever than be an anorexic or bulemic.

VofF—It is hard to maintain. Looking good (and more importantly feeling good about yourself) is no easy task.

Lynda—Great idea! I'll consider that.

Chuck—In all respects? Wow, that's a nice compliment.

Jen—You make perfect sense and are always the voice of reason on these issues. I need to channel that.

Queen—Easier said then done sometimes. If it wasn't for the time my Mom and I get to spend together at our meetings, I probably would say screw WW. But...it's what we do.

TF—I'm hard core. When I make myself a margie at home it's 1.5 oz Cuervo, .5 oz Triple Sec, and 1 oz Lime Juice. That's it. Shaken with some ice and poured into that salt-rimmed rocks glass. mmmm...

speckledpup said...

who's a cutie?
yous a cutie.

what are you sweating about?

do what makes you happy. If those pounds are really bothering you, then lose them. But if it's just the number, then quit weighing...go by your clothes, if they fit the way you want them to then you're set.

Beebers said...

you're NOT fat. and i agree, tex-mex & margs are my downfall too. but i refuse to give up the things in life that make me happy (handbags & good food!) - because life is too short.

cut the triple sec from your margaritas & try fresh OJ instead. if you need more "oomph" then add some everclear. that'll knock ya naked.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Pup—awww, shucks

beebers—the oj is a great idea! I'm definitely going to try that. I will, however, pass on the triple sec.

Jen said...

I used to get mad when some of my coworker bartenders would add OJ in the margaritas they were serving, justifying that they were adding it "to complement" the Grand Marnier we used instead of triple sec. I've tried it both ways, and, depending on my mood, might add it occasionally, but I'm a rebel that doesn't like change.

Here's how I still make mine: Cuervo gold, Grand Marnier, a "SPLOOSH!" (has to be a sploosh- a coworker/bartender/friend's coined term) of Roses sweetened lime juice -if you're making frozen, if not, you don't need it. I just love the memory- and top it off with whatever margarita mix mixer you choose...

I forgot to comment on Think Frustrated's girlie observation:
I never liked mine frozen, either. I even converted my former frozen parents to rocks.

It's pretty much bartender character that you hate making frozen drinks because they take too damn long to make, thus interfering with the flow of the bar, and they water themselves down so quickly that the custmer is never happy, always complaining, sending it back and causing you to hold up the bar still more by remaking it and remaking it...

Don't ask, these are the lectures I got from my friend/bartender/coworker as I'd stand in line waiting for him to prepare my order. When he started training me behind the bar I quickly learned both his point and started harping the same ungrateful lecture on MY servers.

Oh, also, according to him, who hates making Pina Coladas more than anything, a Pina Colada on the rocks (which someone did order a few times...ick...) looks like one is drinking snot.

Think Frustrated said...

Go Jen!

Ms. Armsweat said...

I agree with everyone else: you really do look great! Honestly, you have one of those bodies that I'd notice in public and be like, "Damn, I wish I had a body like that." Also, I am about 35 pounds over my goal weight. I want to keep my curves because I really do like them, but it would be nice to not have a shitload of backfat and jiggly upper arms on my wedding day.

I'm starting to accept that even though I am eating better and exercising as much as my ruptured-disk-filled back will allow, I am not losing much of anything and will probably have to "look like this" on that day. It's kind of defeatist, but I've got more important things to think about right now. I think.

Damn it! Why do we ladies always have to doubt our look? It's like a disease the media shot us up with when we were little.

(By the way, you totally rock those jeans! Nice!)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Darling!

Melliferous Pants said...

I think you look fabulous!

I did WW a few years ago...when I finally reached my "correct" range I was so skinny it was sickening. I looked like the female version of Skeletor.

Now I'm beyond that "goal" weight of years past, but I'm happier than I've ever been before. I like my curves...almost as much as my boy does.

Sarengetty said...

You say you love yourself at this weight. You like your curves. If you feel healthy, why all the fuss about some arbitrary numbers on the scale?

You really do look great.

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

You look mighty fine to me. Enjoy being you - at every age. ;)

eph2810 said...

I think you look great :)....

Congrats on your silver medal...it is ready for 'pick-up' - thank you for playing along...

James Blunt said...

you're beautiful...you're beautiful...
you're beautiful it's true!

Alistair! said...

Just to add my two cent's worth, but you look wonderful. I just wish there were more curvacious women in the world. WW a waste of money for you.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh please, you look FABULOUS!

Blogarita said...

Curves are much more fun than straightaways! You look great!

Vegas Princess said...

You look incredible! I wish I could find some motivation to make myself look that good.

mushroom said...

A pity party hahaha nice turn of phrase pixie!

The Boy said...

Grand Marnier, Triple Sec, Orange Juice and Margerittas? I am behind the times! What happened to lime juice, ice and a good wormy Tequila?

Darlin, you look just fine. Weight is irrelevant so long as you have love and health.