pixie's temple

6 weird things from my childhood

The lovely and ever-so-funny Tinapopo disclosed some disturbing little factoids about her childhood at the request of the Barmaid. Now, Popo’s asked me to do the same (Jen did too, but then recanted her statement since she's a polite blogger). I’m digging deep here folks—hopefully I’m not repeating myself.

Pixie and the Revolution
I’ve always had an affinity for making up words to pre-existing songs. Instead of “Crazy Train” I sang about the “Gravy Train” (“Gravy…on mashed potatoes…”). I still do it and think it’s hilarious. One particular song still sticks out in my head—I even sang it over the weekend. The song was “When Doves Cry” by the one and only Prince. We didn’t actually change the lyrics in this case, just added to them. By “we” I mean a very close friend of mine and I who shall remain nameless for the sake of her dignity. Picture if you will two young girls and their Cabbage Patch Dolls singing away with the record (yep, those big round vinyl things) of Prince’s Purple Rain. You know the words I’m sure but if not it went like this…”Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like when doves cry…” Now here’s where we add our lyrics. Are you ready? Sure? Okay…”tweet, tweet, waa, waa, tweet, tweet, tweet, waa”. Get it? What it sounds like when doves cry? Sadly, I’m not kidding.

J-E-L-L-O
I never have really been a fan of jello. There is something about the consistency of it that I don’t like. I will do jello shots, but to sit down with a bowl full of coagulated gelatin just isn’t going to happen around here. As a child, my grandma used to tell me it was good for your nails. Plus, she always had a box of cherry jello up in the cupboard. So, we would make it (what young girl doesn’t want strong nails?) and, before it was cool, I would drink it. Yep, it never got to the gelatin point, just warm liquid jello. Yum.

Soggy Shag
We spent a lot of time as kids over at my Grandma’s house. By car, it was a good 5 minute drive to her house, but by foot, we could just walk across this huge field behind our house and we were there. One of the really dumb things we would do when she wasn’t around is have water fights. In her house. We didn’t have guns, just cups of water and we’d run through the house and throw them at each other. Not smart enough back then to realize the damage that must have caused the carpet and the padding—fortunately Gam didn’t seem to realize what transpired, ever.

Mystery Cocktails
Gam (my Grandma if you can’t keep up) also had this really cool hide away door that separated the kitchen from the dining room. It slid into the wall when it was open and pulled out and shut off the kitchen when it was closed. When we would have sleep overs at Gam’s one of the things we liked to do was make mystery cocktails. A couple of us would go into the kitchen, close the door, and concoct a disgusting beverage that the unknowing member of our soiree would have to try. I’m surprised none of us ever puked. It would be things like lemonade with chocolate syrup, mustard, and bbq sauce—or some equally disgusting combination.

Is that what they meant by ALL terrain?
Growing up we had a 3-wheeler (an ATV) that we rode around the big field behind our house. I would strap my boombox to the back of it and give the neighbor kids rides around the field. It was really fun. On one such occasion, I was coming back in to drop off and pick up the next member when a friend of mine made a huge mistake. She threw grass at my face. When something would come flying at my face, my natural reaction was to close my eyes. Which I did—and I swerved. Then I ran her over. She ran home crying and didn’t come back to ride the ATV. Moral: Don’t throw grass in my face while I’m operating a vehicle.

Snow Bunnies
Regardless of the weather, we would play outside as kids. Winters were no exception. As really little kids, we (my Dad) would hook the sled up to our Chesapeake Bay and he would run down the street with us like our own Iditarod. When we got older, we would ice skate in my friend’s backyard. Not on a pond, just in the yard where water had pooled (quite a bit) and frozen. Once, my friend fell while skating and the blade of the skate hit her right in the ass (seriously). That still makes me laugh.

So, there you have it. Six of my lovely childhood memories. Stay tuned, Lisa has asked us to provide you all with 2 of our childhood fears next. These should be traumatizing to rehash.