Each day I find myself hating the telephone more and more. I don’t know why, but I just don’t like talking on the phone. I’d much rather communicate via email. It’s not that I won’t talk on the phone, but, I’m not one to just call to talk. I need a reason. A purpose for the call. Not just a “Hi. How are you? The kids? The plot to take over the universe?” Let’s talk about that stuff over cocktails, not over the phone. Call to make plans, not just to chat. That’s just not for me anymore. I hope this doesn’t hurt the relationships I have with my less than tech savvy friends and family.
Just like that salty, processed food stuff Monty Python sang about—I hate Spam.
A few weeks ago I accidentally opened an email that was spam. It wasn’t about enlarging the size of my penis or finding that miracle diet pill, no, it was about stocks or some shit like that. I don’t know why I opened it. I should have known better. It was someone’s name that I didn’t know, with an attachment and an obscure, one-word subject line. I guess I thought that there would be a link that I could follow to tell them to quit sending me their shit. Nope. Instead that sneaky little spam contained some sort of script that alerted the spammers that I have indeed opened their garbage. Which apparently means I want them to send me more of these lovely emails—daily. The good news is they are easily identifiable. I’m hoping that if I don’t open them (although I accidentally hit Return instead of Delete on one this morning and opened it) they will eventually cease. Stupid spam.
Most of my news knowledge now comes from our Yahoo! home page. Which I suppose is okay (does anyone spell okay anymore?) since our local news stations continue to talk about the Father Robinson trial (old news), where to find the cheapest gas (nowhere), and health inspector violations at local eateries (which makes me want to eat at home—forever). Watch CNN you say? We don’t have cable and haven’t for well over 4 years, so it’s local tv or nothing for us.
I’m so sick of the rain. It has rained every freakin’ day for well over a week. We aren’t in the same position as some places in the Northeast, but it still sucks. I have half a flat of flowers still waiting to be planted, the back patio to lift and reset, and up until yesterday our lawn looked more like a jungle than a suburban landscape. Plus, it’s May 19th and it’s in the 40s right now. Come on Mother Nature, cut us a break.
12 comments:
Strangely I like spam....fried on white bread with spicy mustard. I like nipples too....
I can only eat Spam if it's on a dry-ass biscuit. Nipples are important—I wouldn't be the same without mine.
Chuck, I figured you would've offered to warm them up for her...
Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam!
I HATE talking on le telephone, even to my mum or boyfriend I never know what to say
Chuck got it right, spam sandwich, fried. I also like a slab of sharp cheddar on mine.
No wait, i like cheddar on nipples. Uh, something like that.
I hate telephones too. I love nipples.
The cold rainy weather was here for quite awhile before moving on. Now you have it. The good news is there is some very nice warm weather behind it if it ever makes it to you.
Damn! And in Louisiana it's only 85 degrees today. Shite, what I wouldn't give for the 40s again. Spammers should be hung by their sacks until ... well, I'll figure out how long later and I am a fan of nipples too. Have I left anything out? Oh yeah, thanks for stopping by my place. Have a great day.
TG
Oh yeah Dave cheddar...that would work. Barry you know me too well.
Let's just say I'm well-read in some of your historical pursuits...
Pixie, I'd stay away from him - he's trouble ;)
Nobody—I hope so. The 10 day claims 80s next week, but I'm skeptical
Tommy—are you rubbing it in? How dare you mock me!
Chuck & Dave—Everything's better with cheddar.
Barry—I think Chuck's all talk...or is that all hands?
Your blog needs more boobs with cold nipples. Then you would catapault yourself to Blogebrity status.
When I looked at that picture of the cheerful local newscasters, I heard a barbershop quartet-styled "HelloHELLO HELLO HELLO!!" in my head. I just figured I would share.
I get all my news from Yahoo, too. It's my most trusted work distraction, since no one gets mad when they walk up and see you reading "The News."
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