Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sometimes I'm such a Freak

Here I sit, 9:30 Saturday morning, in my jammies. Sexy jammies too—red flannel bottoms with penguins on them and a blue long sleeve top from a wing joint I used to work at named Fricker's. Pretty hot, huh? Now, to be in your jammies at 9:30 on a Saturday isn't a big deal (I've been up since 7:30), but I have no intentions of changing or taking a shower until after 11 a.m. Not because I'm lazy, but because Josh won't be home from school until then. And this my friends is where the "freak" factor comes in.

I have yet to take a shower in our new house when Josh isn't home. Odd, you say? Well...let me tell you about my "shower ritual" from the days we lived in the apartment. When I was home alone at the apartment and needed to take a shower, I habitually went through this ritual:
  1. Check all the doors (all 2 of them) and make sure they are locked/deadbolted/stick in sliding glass door.
  2. Go into bathroom and shut the door. There was no lock on the door, so I would do the following to thwart my paranoia that someone could come in.
  3. Open the linen closet door so it is parallel with the now shut bathroom door.
  4. Take the bathroom scale and place that in front of the linen closet door. Now it looks like this: bathroom door (shut), linen door (open), scale. My rationale behind this is that if someone opened the bathroom door it would hit the linen closet door (and thus make a noise) which would hit the scale and make another noise). That would alert me in the shower to take action—although I don't know what action...maybe attack with the shampoo.
  5. Once in the shower, I would peer out from the curtain at least once. Not sure why, with my awesome system I would certainly hear someone if they came in.
Sick, huh? And I did this countless times. The bathroom at the house has a lock on the door. I know I'm safe. I just can't do it yet. Thanks alot Psycho.

Update: I put jeans on at 10:15. Kept on the same shirt & put on my tennies instead of my slippers. Still not getting in the shower.


Jen said...

I know how you feel. The efficiency I used to live in was an apartment in a building I'd lived in for 5 years (in various units). The bathroom was directly oposite the front door and two large windows. Since these apartments were once a large house that had been divided and remodeled several times, my apartment was made up of what used to be the garage and the steamroom. My bathroom used to be the steamroom. I loved that bathroom- I should have taken pics of it before I moved to had the golden cedar panneling and the most incredible 70s-era deep blue tiles all over it. Being the steam room, it also had a huge, heavy door, complete with a deadbolt and one of those spring-type door closing mechanisms at the top of it. I actually had to prop the door open with a board so the cats could go in and out (litterbox) and because it was really weird to sit in the living room across from a closed door. I never had shower issues until I lived there- mostly because I spent too much time (before I learned it was previously the steam room) wondering what would cause somebody to put such a ridiculous door on a bathroom. I mean it was security door cailber. And the fact that it was directly across from two floor-to-ceilling ground level windows that anybody could just take a flying leap through if they wanted, with only the couch to stop them...that didn't help, either. The other years I'd lived in that building, we lived upstairs, so I didn't worry. Because the walkway was wooden and you could hear everybodys comings and goings.

That bathroom, though...I was really grateful I had a dog who insisted on accompanying me into the bathroom and lying in front of the door. I know a person really isn't supposed to encourage that kind of behavior with dogs, because it can lead to other issues later on...but I let her do it in that case. Eventually, she grew into her own opinions and would decide whether she wanted to lie inside the door, or wait outside of it for me. Either way, she was guarding. These days, she comes and goes, content to guard me during my bath, or hang out in another room nearby.

When I was a kid I'd go to the bathroom, and even though I knew I'd locked the door, if we had company over I'd always take the extra measure and pull the hinged door of the laundry hamper open. It folded down in such a way that it made a right angle with the bathroom door and blocked it from opening.

We are a resourceful and clever species, aren't we?

Nickle said...

I had issues with taking a shower when I lived by myself. Everytime I kept thinking I heard something. At least once during my shower I would turn the water off and then turn it back on. I finally realized that the neighbors were so close (and loud) that I was hearing them talk.

Now that I'm married and in a house, I don't have problems taking a shower when I'm home by myself. Curtis and I both have a bad habit of not even closing the door. I really have to remind myself to close it when people are here!!!! We should probably try and correct that bad habit!!!!

One time my mom called and said, where were you I just tried to call you. I told her I was in the shower. She said, why didn't Curtis answer the phone then. I didn't know what to tell her. Guess I should have just told her that he was in the shower with me!!!!;-)